I'm so busy I want to die.

The family had a meething and they made a unanimous decision that they want me to get married and move out.
Later that weekend, we met up with my uncle and aunt and they had visitors, which happened to be Selangor's ex menteri besar (before Khir Toyo) and she told them all about the unanimous decision.
FML? Yes.

I met someone who looked just like someone I used to know but I don't want to be the ducker that comes out of nowhere and screws everything up, knowing I had been in the exact sticky position.

Wrote my resignation letter and emailed it today.

i got the job

I got the job. I got the job! I GOT THE MOTHER EFFIN JOB. I GOT THE JOBBBBBBB
grrhuaiufgraaaahhhhhh so happy and nervous, it's making my want to jump off this couch and punch you, and then punch myself, and then punch my cat, and then just jump and punch the wall.

Greeergrhhhhh I'm so nervous, even more so after a friend decided to tell me how bloody influential and big my future employers are. I'm afraid of screwing up, but I can do this!
BITCHASSSSSS

Like Iqa has said, March is going to make us very broke.
65DOS, Kings of Convenience, Pink Martini, zomgz macam mana nak survive.

In the meantime, I have one small obstacle to overcome, small but it's making me rasa blergh and it's not a nice feeling.
I prayed (or rather, doa-ed on Twitter) for Him to buka my mom's hati and mind, and I think I'm getting there.
Sikit lagi.

Sikit je lagi.

luahan perasaan yang dah lama terpendam (title drama rtm1)

Stenciled, 2007, ElectricblueTV. Picture by Uzair Sawal

I'm sure not all of you know that I co-founded and managed Kurasaraksasa! since 2007.
I was really proud of it, yes.
Being really busy with that and even contemplated on quitting college.
Too busy to be depressed.
Organising, replying, meeting new people, amazing people, interviews.

It was great until... well, I suppose we all grew up.
All of us were more mature, dah masak ngan perangai masing-masing.
Masak. Menyampah.

I was always shy and reluctant to talk about Kurasa.
Even to my parents. It's not that I was ashamed of it, I was (am) just really, really shy.
It was an achievement I wanted no one to know.
When I meet new people and they remember me from my Kurasa days, I look at the floor or cover my face and groan, sometimes thinking aloud why why why.

Ohai Yuna. The two middle backdrop panels were painted by GG and I. This was for YouthRawr! by Bedroom Productions, 2007. I remember she sang a song that went "Empty is what you are".

Those 2-3 years were great.
Working with GG, Ben, Naim and Irna were great, along with many more people.
It was great.
Really.

It's just that... when faced with questions about my achievements, I feel I am not worthy.
I did Kurasa merely because I was bored in college, my brains were melting.
I don't think any of us continued working for Kurasa because we wanted to be famous, or to inspire people, or whatever.
Like I said, we were too busy to let anything settle in.
By the time we took a break, we finally realised what we had done, caused.

No wonder people say I'm really fat now. LOOK AT MY LONG HAIR I CRIES NAO
This picture was taken before the meeting we had about some set design thing for BMW Shorties, a project yang tak menjadi. Mehmehmehmeh.

Well, I'm writing this because I'm updating my portfolio, and I figured I should fit in some of Kurasa's projects in it, because it played a big part in making my resumé fancy schmantsy.
I don't want my interviewer (sp?) to think that I faked Kurasa just to get a job.

Looking at the pictures, of course I miss those days.
From the first day, the uncertainty, the getting to know each other, seeing how they worked, don't know why people wanted to interview us, the anger and frustration, the lovelorn (some of us were seriously lonely), getting everyone to work with each other.

Still my favourite picture of us. Naim had and will always be my black ass nigga.

rap cari kerja

me: hey

hey

mun: yea

me: hear ma rap

mun: u want a gud time?

tok to me

i giv gud time

3:47 PM me: matahati told me to describe maself in english

just one page

and i says to dem

mun: tell dem u dunno english

me: i frenz wit da epitome of handsome

mun: i think is a taste

is a test

i typo lol.

me: dat man be named munkao

mun: uh huh

going on

going on

me: and dey like

mun: what happening after

me: whoa

no need write som mo

but i like

3:48 PM mun: tru tru

me: hey you told me one page

mun: xus tru

me: yeah

yeah

yeah x10

mun: ....

interview d merchant square?

me: and i said ma self aint dat interestin besides dat fact

I'M NOT DONE YET WITH MY RAP

PLEASE DONT INTERRUPT ME

3:49 PM UNLESS YOU WANT AN ENCORE

anywayz

den dey sayz no no tell us mo boutcho selfz

and i says

sorry, SAYZ*

HOE I AINT GOT HIGH TASTE

3:50 PM I JUST PREFER MAT SALLEH FACE

AINT NO THANG

mun: uh huh

suspenseful

me: yea yea

what do you think of my rap?

think they'll hire me?

3:51 PM mun: i think that jinn guy who won this yers blue chilli will hire you

me: kewl

3:52 PM dat jinn guy as coo as me?

mun: i think so.

u interviewed d ah

both?

3:53 PM me: no la

3:54 PM toldchew oredi what yesterday

mun: then what fuck u sayin

me: the merchant square one is next thusdat

thursday*

mun: oh

wow

your rap is fictional

is so cool

me: ha

mun: your rap is so offensive to women its a rape

me: no no, matahati emailed me say

Dill, can u write or describe urself in English just 1 pg,n bring together on interview day.

cheers

mun: ask u describe yoruself ah?

hahahaha

so awesome

3:55 PM me: i want to say cheers back, but i'm not that type of person

mun: type stuff like, im naturally humble but am not afraid to admit im great

me: maybe i should write that as the opening

mun: then throw in sexual inneundos such as

im quite effable

me: yeah, actually i wanna write like that

when i ovulate, my boobs grow bigger

as do every other women

3:56 PM mun: like your mothers

i can be your den mother

me: uh

yeah

mun: btw

i playing this new game called jungle extreme

just thought you would like to know

me: i'm not interested

no, i would actually, not like to know

mun: hey, not askign you to play

just telling you.

me: but i dont want to know

3:57 PM mun: this is the problem with youths these days

their ignorance and apathy

ptui

me: wahhhh

mun: ptui ptui ptui

me: damn cibai lohhhh

plis la ok

i'm not a 'youth'

mun: damn hansem also okies

me: i'm a unicorn

bitch

mun: you put the you in youth

me: suck my horn!

mun: your toe puts the corn in unicorn

Did an interview for Juice with Sheiko last week.
We were supposed to interview each other about what we do (which I suppose, is art) that relates to us being girls. Yeah. Dirty corporate tactics.

So one of the questions Sheiko asked me was, if I were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing I'll say to the rakyat.
The first time she asked, I kept quiet, so we moved on.
And because we seriously didn't know what to ask each other, I had to answer to that.

To which I said...
Rakyat. What rakyat? I don't care about the rakyat.

And it is true. Like I've said in a previous post, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY ANYMORE. This country has no hope.
Not for now. Not till my kids grow up.

// I decided today that I will marry a bloody rich and handsome and smart Mat Salleh. I'm not racist, I'll take Mos Def, totally handsome ok. Then I will have 4 children born with flowers in their curly hair. If all fails, then I'll have 50 cats. //

I believe everyone should rely on themselves. Sendiri jadi baik, sendiri jaga kain sendiri, sendiri punya hal. You step on my toe, I step on your toe back. Or not, because I baik like that. But why step on my toe in the first place when you got your own toes to step on?
But yeah. SENDIRI PUNYA HAL LA.

Perhaps it's because I cannot tahan people telling me what to do, and how to do things.
I am happiest when everyone has their own opinion, and everyone is independent, and no one cares about me.
Everyone should be like that.

I don't care if you're gay, or choose to be stupid, or want to dress up ugly, or a self-proclaimed non-conformist. OK. I don't care. Just don't kacau me.

So yeah, rakyat. I don't care about you. You poor little souls.

Best Artshow in the Univers website is up!

http://www.thebestartshowintheunivers.com/ copy that if you rajin or CLICK HERE if you malas.

Check us out at Art for Grabs (Raya Special) tomorrow at the Annexe Gallery.
Our friend Shobee will be making cupcakes (for us), dulu dia pernah buat yang ada lavender. Good stuff I tell you.

BTW, for those who don't speak or understand Chinese language (like me), this is the translation for the song in Longing #2 by chichi. I finks is pretty song.

I am waiting for you to return, I am waiting for you to return
I am dreaming of your return, I am dreaming of your return
Wait until you come back, let me show my love
Wait until you come back, you dismiss my love

Why don't you return, why don't you come return
I have to wait for your return, I have to wait for your return
You're still not back, the light of youth is no more
You're still not back, hot tears overflow onto my cheeks

ya allah, nervousnya aku.

Click the picture and watch the video. I AM SO NERVOUS.

Suggestions: 3. Sunbathing in an art gallery

CLICK

Suggestions: 2. Kite Flying In An Art Gallery

‘Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities In KL For Busy Government Workers’ is a 13 episode series aimed at promoting the arts among government workers.
CIPAN presents Episode 2: Kite Flying In An Art Gallery.
Wow I can't believe it's going to be a series!

I just finished the postcard design for Between the Lines.
I am so nervous. I've only done 5 drawings.
Small ones.
I AM SO NERVOUS ALREADY.

Awesome video by Zulamran Hilmi and my favourite Munkao painting

I love everything about it. Everything. Click for more of Zul's artworks.
Reminds me of the opening credits for Science of Sleep.

Very nice pictures of the paintings I helped Munkao with. The exhibition ends 31st this month so do check the awesome details out before it ends. This is my favourite!

Guess who's painting a room with Mary-Jane tonight? Mwahahahhaha.

Gadoh: Short film starring Zahiril Adzim and Nick Davis

I don't know if I should be promoting this movie, since the seats are limited, but DO COME FOR THE SCREENING!
It's a short film titled Gadoh, which is about racism.
Gua buat props ngan Azam, I think I'm most proud of the taiko's headquarters. The red wall where he prays before going for fights. Yeah man. Watch out for that. I think we made the best out that ugly room.

Made a cameo appearance because the extra didn't come. Meh. I really should ban myself from appearing in front of the camera, be it for a picture or for a video. BAN MYSELF like I banned myself from replying/reading Kurasa's mails.


Oh this is going to be so embarassing.
You HAVE TO EMAIL them first to book a spot OK. Here's the Facebook event page.
I don't think I have the right to post any pictures during the shooting, so yeah, boo hoo.

Munkao's exhibition starts tomorrow, so do come (with chicks).

Natural: New paintings by Munkao & Saharil Hasrin Sanin

SORRY ABANG MK, I forgots to promotings your art shows.

Anywho, people reading this blog, make yourself free on the 14th of May and come to Annexe at 8pm for a very manly night. When I say manly, I mean manly. And of course, if you have single female friends, do bring them along. My boss needs to meet cute chicks.


We've been working hard on this, him obviously more than me.
Everyday I eat his junk food and sleep and paint a little and then mybrute and YOUTUBE GALORE and then only do I start painting. Life is good.

Nonetheless, I have been working hard. Yes. Of course I have.
Here's the event page on Facebook, CLICK.

My derriere is immortalised in one of the paintings. Guess which HIHI.
BE A FAN OF MUNKAO!
Have you watched 'Watching Paint Dry', a short film by chitoo?
NO?! Well, click here to watch!

Wit

Munkao just finished drawing scales on his painting and happily said:
In Photoshop terms, this is called 'Scales (read: Skills), 100%'.

I laughed painfully, and he continued:
In farmer's terms, that was called 'Wheat (read: Wit).'

dfsfrf

Currently Reading:

Hohoho, and I am still looking for 'I am a strange loop' by Douglas Hofstadter. It's been 2 years or so, and I think it's about time I just bloody place an order for it, and while at it, collect some on Hundertwasser.

For February, nothing was gonna happen, so I thought I was jobless, but for some odd reason (OK la bukan odd la, rezeki) I got so many!
1. Banghra (sp?) music video. I might do this for the fun of it. I don't know why my friend's doing this as well, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be interesting (not funny, not funny, not funny. I'm trying not to think of Telur-telur Tu)
2. Because I plan to disappear in March, my friends are making me help them in February for the 3 day short film thing.
3. PGL stage prep.
4. Helping my mom do some graphic stuff for her clinic.
5. Helping Munkao set up this secret thing he's up to. Maybe not to secret la. (Eh you reading is it? FY and FO TMCH)
6. (Not to mention) THE GODDAMN POSTERS

I NEED 3 ME'S!!!
I'm so tamak I want to do all the jobs, be it boring or non-paying or whatever.

I went to the PJ library today AND THEY DID NOT HAVE ANY PLATH BOOKS. The receptionist didn't even know if Sylvia Plath was the name of the author or the title, which left me feeling quite dumbfounded at the counter. Interestingly, I found Story of O.
That book should be banned in Malaysia, no? Just like yoga for Muslims.
Why and what is that book doing in a public library instead of Miss Plath, I wish to know.

I am ashamed to say this, but I might (read: will) read the book halfway (or not even) and then move on to another book. My attention span is so short, I haven't even finished reading Interview with the vampire, which I bought around 2006.
Damn. That, and Murakami, and some books I bought while retail therapy-ing.

punca kenapa aku mandi seminggu 2 kali

Zain and his muscle tee

Still shots by Alan


Me making people do work


Band Picture, bg kantoi skit.

I also noticed Azam had the same face and pose for two different pictures on two different days.

We tried to sneak into Butterfinger's last gig at Istana Budaya, him wearing that dirty tshirt. Of course we didn't get in, pakai selipar Jepun kut.
There was once when Munkao, Mien, Ben and I were at Barsonik, and we wore flip flops and therefore were refused entry. Mien said "Fuck this shit, I can get to Cape Town wearing my selipar jamban."

sfwregrg

2 jobs for February!
1. Short film
2. Helping Munkao paint Barsonik

I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy!

Just finished shooting in Dengkil, and I'm home waiting for Azam to pick me up, and we're heading to FINAS to do some studio stuff.
Today, I got shot! Towdally gangsta.

Was touching up some alien's costume when I heard some commotion going on, I looked back and saw flaming balls heading my way and one of them hit my back.
Apparently the actor put the gun facing me and it went haywire (probably the hot weather) and the mercun inside started shooting.

djfnsdogfsgs

Today's To-Do
1. SMS Anna

Just now was the first time I had the luxury of bathing in 2 days, and the day before that, was the first time I bathed since I last blogged.
Fibreglass didn't work out for us, so the day before shooting starts, they changed to Plan B.
Hence my state of tak-mandi-tapi-still-wangi-ness (because I didn't sweat at all, even though I wore 4 layers of clothing, not including blanket).
I got Zul and Raeesa to help me with the airbrushing, which helped A LOT, so tima kaceh princess cat. I will remember to bring the Thing when I see you at Mogwai.

Shooting started 2 days ago at Dengkil, and I am late today.
It's gonna be effin hot, and I'm out of shorts.

My brother told me yesterday that my dad wants to go to Gaza but my mom is saying No No No (Winehouse style). I am sad, not because I want my dad to die in a war or anything, I'm sad because it's a noble and selfless thing that he wants to do, and my mom restricts him from almost everything.
Sad face :-( boo hoo.

After this job, I HAVE HAVE HAVE to finish the set of posters by 31st January.
February is coming, and I only have a 3-day job, which means I need more.

erew

Today's To-do
1. POSTER POSTER POSTER
2. Email Anna, CC Mei Yee
3. Bank in gaji
4. Ask about car

I've been working with fiberglass in a closed area, and even with 2 layers of gloves and a surgical mask, the microscopic glass particles are piercing through my delicate and lovely skin and I CAN FEEL IT.
It's so annoying when you can't really tweeze it out. What's so worrying about this is that the particles get stuck on your clothes and that's quite dangerous when you start inhaling/rubbing it directly to your skin.
Or maybe I'm just being a hypochondriac.

Was supposed to send the poster's first draft yesterday, but been busy stuck in the workshop from morning till the next morning.
Working is great.

232

Today's to-do
1. Amcorp
2. Laptop
3. Wear warm(er) clothes
4. And shoes
5. Poster

I forgot that I'm also making a poster for a short film called Gadoh. First draft tomorrow.
I have also been made Wardrobe Assistant.

Again

Today's to-do
1. Dentist
2. Speakers
3. Isi Minyak
4. More Red Bull

Blogging this time around to keep track of my year.
But instead of talking about fashion and shoes and 'life', I'm here to obsess about gardening, working/making money and Jude Law.

As some of you may already know, I'm going to leave college for a year. Yes I am one semester away from graduating, but seriously, I HATE GOING TO COLLEGE.

This week I'm making paper models of body armors for a short film, (and get paid for it, currently making more than enough money to belanja me and my brother to watch Mogwai.)