luahan perasaan yang dah lama terpendam (title drama rtm1)

Stenciled, 2007, ElectricblueTV. Picture by Uzair Sawal

I'm sure not all of you know that I co-founded and managed Kurasaraksasa! since 2007.
I was really proud of it, yes.
Being really busy with that and even contemplated on quitting college.
Too busy to be depressed.
Organising, replying, meeting new people, amazing people, interviews.

It was great until... well, I suppose we all grew up.
All of us were more mature, dah masak ngan perangai masing-masing.
Masak. Menyampah.

I was always shy and reluctant to talk about Kurasa.
Even to my parents. It's not that I was ashamed of it, I was (am) just really, really shy.
It was an achievement I wanted no one to know.
When I meet new people and they remember me from my Kurasa days, I look at the floor or cover my face and groan, sometimes thinking aloud why why why.

Ohai Yuna. The two middle backdrop panels were painted by GG and I. This was for YouthRawr! by Bedroom Productions, 2007. I remember she sang a song that went "Empty is what you are".

Those 2-3 years were great.
Working with GG, Ben, Naim and Irna were great, along with many more people.
It was great.
Really.

It's just that... when faced with questions about my achievements, I feel I am not worthy.
I did Kurasa merely because I was bored in college, my brains were melting.
I don't think any of us continued working for Kurasa because we wanted to be famous, or to inspire people, or whatever.
Like I said, we were too busy to let anything settle in.
By the time we took a break, we finally realised what we had done, caused.

No wonder people say I'm really fat now. LOOK AT MY LONG HAIR I CRIES NAO
This picture was taken before the meeting we had about some set design thing for BMW Shorties, a project yang tak menjadi. Mehmehmehmeh.

Well, I'm writing this because I'm updating my portfolio, and I figured I should fit in some of Kurasa's projects in it, because it played a big part in making my resumé fancy schmantsy.
I don't want my interviewer (sp?) to think that I faked Kurasa just to get a job.

Looking at the pictures, of course I miss those days.
From the first day, the uncertainty, the getting to know each other, seeing how they worked, don't know why people wanted to interview us, the anger and frustration, the lovelorn (some of us were seriously lonely), getting everyone to work with each other.

Still my favourite picture of us. Naim had and will always be my black ass nigga.