no reason for dry cheeks

i've been having good hair days!

and good days!
My housemates have been bugging me to look pretty, and yeah, I think it's about time I quit looking like fucking crap. I bought myself a diamond ring. Pretty!
I want (read: need) gold nail polish.

Been thinking about getting a job.
Been thinking about going back to school.
Been thinking about

i was really nervous and scared.
unfamiliar territories.
the unknown.
un- everything.

it wasn't so bad. meeting someone new.
meeting new people.
new everything.

my nervousness masked the shyness.
he was lovely. his friends were lovely. my friends.

it's ok. it's alright.

pep talk

Yesterday was a very heavy day. I sink deeper and deeper.
Since last year, I made a pact with myself not to succumb to depression and I've been beating myself blue trying to ignore that comforting, deep royal blue feeling.

And here's a good speech by Cassius Clay/Muhammad Ali which sort of sounds exactly like what I tell myself before I jump into things.



Mr. Liston is an old man, he's 30 years old. He has no business being in the same ring with me. I'd like to help that poor man. 
I'd like to give him lessons. Boxing lessons, talking lessons, I'll teach him anything!
But since he's going to fight me, all he needs most is falling lessons.


There have been many instances where I don't think I can do this, and that.
But I am the greatest. And when I want to forget, I will forget.

did we even know?

I thought of another way to make my parents hate me.

I'll paint them the portrait with Pokme across their laps.
My mother will refuse to accept it and will tell me to repaint.

So I'll repaint Pokme... as me.


Now, this is going to be tricky, but I quite fancy you.

Sometimes, I ask myself, why why why am I such a genius.

During dinner just now, while zoning out, I thought of another family portrait 10x more obnoxious than my previous idea (refer to the blog post before this). The idea was so great (and funny) that I found it really hard to wipe that smile off my face, looking like a fool, smiling alone.

I tried and tried, and I looked even more of a fool trying to mask that upward smile with a frown. (It's really ugly, ask Li)
So I decided to tell my mother.

Me: Mak, wouldn't it be nice if I painted a family portrait?
My mother: Family portrait? Oh, ok, then we can hang it in the living room! *big smile*
Me: Mm, yes, I'll paint you and Papa sitting down........ with a very big Pokme.
My mother: *instant frown* What?! I don't want that horrible cat!
Me: Pokme on your lap. Pokme on both your laps, a very long Pokme.
Amir (my brother): In her weird poses.
My mother: Taruk dia jauh jauh! Mak tak nak kucing tu! Tak pun buat dia kecik je in a corner. Nampak ekor je.

Afterwards she totally ignored the fact that I wanted to paint my parents and my lovely cat, and said that if I paint the portrait big, she'll hang it in the living room.

For those of you who don't know, my mother absolutely hates cats (since her cat Mang died during her teenage years), especially Pokme. She calls it Kucing Berdosa, and will attempt to kick Pokme everytime she's in her parameters.
As for my father, he is very pasrah about our devotion for that hateful cat. He only loved one pair of cats, and that was Pokme's mother Cikeding, and Cikeding's brother, Kucing Putih.
He used to talk to them during breakfast when no one's listening.

This will be a funny family portrait and I cannot wait to start painting ^___^

I'm so busy I want to die.

The family had a meething and they made a unanimous decision that they want me to get married and move out.
Later that weekend, we met up with my uncle and aunt and they had visitors, which happened to be Selangor's ex menteri besar (before Khir Toyo) and she told them all about the unanimous decision.
FML? Yes.

I met someone who looked just like someone I used to know but I don't want to be the ducker that comes out of nowhere and screws everything up, knowing I had been in the exact sticky position.

Wrote my resignation letter and emailed it today.

me? musician? performance artist?

I am still in shock of this sudden news (MK told me last night).

Along with him, me, chi, Simon and Sheiko will be performing at C&C (that's Cloth & Clef for those who don't read short forms).
We have a band now. I think we're going to take this seriously, and take Malaysia's mainstream experimental music (sound? noise?) scene by storm!
Rock you like a hurricane!

Anyway, I'm very nervous.
Wish I don't puke on stage. Kbyebye.

i got the job

I got the job. I got the job! I GOT THE MOTHER EFFIN JOB. I GOT THE JOBBBBBBB
grrhuaiufgraaaahhhhhh so happy and nervous, it's making my want to jump off this couch and punch you, and then punch myself, and then punch my cat, and then just jump and punch the wall.

Greeergrhhhhh I'm so nervous, even more so after a friend decided to tell me how bloody influential and big my future employers are. I'm afraid of screwing up, but I can do this!
BITCHASSSSSS

Like Iqa has said, March is going to make us very broke.
65DOS, Kings of Convenience, Pink Martini, zomgz macam mana nak survive.

In the meantime, I have one small obstacle to overcome, small but it's making me rasa blergh and it's not a nice feeling.
I prayed (or rather, doa-ed on Twitter) for Him to buka my mom's hati and mind, and I think I'm getting there.
Sikit lagi.

Sikit je lagi.

Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities In KL For Busy Government Workers: 4. Sleeping In An Art Gallery

I will be starring (alongside other more prominent people) in a Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities In KL For Busy Government Workers again!

And the best part is, you get to catch it live! Head on over to the Annexe Gallery on the 4th of February, 8pm. Click here for the event page.
Also, there's a play happening at ASWARA called Tanda. If you're a fan of Rumah Anak Teater (RAT) and Projek KOKEN, this is not to be missed!

Here are the past 3 Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities in KL for Busy Government Workers, which were featured (or best I say, was a contribution) on ARTERI.
If you don't know what ARTERI is, shame on you!

Found at home.

I just came back from dinner, and that guy who works at Khadijah's Kitchen Sect 12 IS SO BLOODY CUTE IF HE WERE SINGLE HE'D BE MY NEXT SOULMATE.

The radio played a Panic At The Disco's song, something that went 'closing the goddamn door'.
Funny thing is, they censored the word 'God' instead of 'damn'.

Now, if I were a mother, I'd go ballistic furious if he said 'damn' to me.
But then again, I'm such a foul-mouthed poptart in the first place, so if my child's first word were 'cuntface' I won't be surprised.

Though I do hope to calm down on the cursing. Really.
Fuck will be replaced with fornication and Shit will be replaced with feces.
Watch me.

rap cari kerja

me: hey

hey

mun: yea

me: hear ma rap

mun: u want a gud time?

tok to me

i giv gud time

3:47 PM me: matahati told me to describe maself in english

just one page

and i says to dem

mun: tell dem u dunno english

me: i frenz wit da epitome of handsome

mun: i think is a taste

is a test

i typo lol.

me: dat man be named munkao

mun: uh huh

going on

going on

me: and dey like

mun: what happening after

me: whoa

no need write som mo

but i like

3:48 PM mun: tru tru

me: hey you told me one page

mun: xus tru

me: yeah

yeah

yeah x10

mun: ....

interview d merchant square?

me: and i said ma self aint dat interestin besides dat fact

I'M NOT DONE YET WITH MY RAP

PLEASE DONT INTERRUPT ME

3:49 PM UNLESS YOU WANT AN ENCORE

anywayz

den dey sayz no no tell us mo boutcho selfz

and i says

sorry, SAYZ*

HOE I AINT GOT HIGH TASTE

3:50 PM I JUST PREFER MAT SALLEH FACE

AINT NO THANG

mun: uh huh

suspenseful

me: yea yea

what do you think of my rap?

think they'll hire me?

3:51 PM mun: i think that jinn guy who won this yers blue chilli will hire you

me: kewl

3:52 PM dat jinn guy as coo as me?

mun: i think so.

u interviewed d ah

both?

3:53 PM me: no la

3:54 PM toldchew oredi what yesterday

mun: then what fuck u sayin

me: the merchant square one is next thusdat

thursday*

mun: oh

wow

your rap is fictional

is so cool

me: ha

mun: your rap is so offensive to women its a rape

me: no no, matahati emailed me say

Dill, can u write or describe urself in English just 1 pg,n bring together on interview day.

cheers

mun: ask u describe yoruself ah?

hahahaha

so awesome

3:55 PM me: i want to say cheers back, but i'm not that type of person

mun: type stuff like, im naturally humble but am not afraid to admit im great

me: maybe i should write that as the opening

mun: then throw in sexual inneundos such as

im quite effable

me: yeah, actually i wanna write like that

when i ovulate, my boobs grow bigger

as do every other women

3:56 PM mun: like your mothers

i can be your den mother

me: uh

yeah

mun: btw

i playing this new game called jungle extreme

just thought you would like to know

me: i'm not interested

no, i would actually, not like to know

mun: hey, not askign you to play

just telling you.

me: but i dont want to know

3:57 PM mun: this is the problem with youths these days

their ignorance and apathy

ptui

me: wahhhh

mun: ptui ptui ptui

me: damn cibai lohhhh

plis la ok

i'm not a 'youth'

mun: damn hansem also okies

me: i'm a unicorn

bitch

mun: you put the you in youth

me: suck my horn!

mun: your toe puts the corn in unicorn

ya allah, nervousnya aku.

Click the picture and watch the video. I AM SO NERVOUS.

Between the Lines

Hello hello hello, please come to my first group exhibition.
I am nervous because my parents will be there.
Click here for more information.
It's at the Annexe Gallery, and it's happening THIS THURSDAY OK.

The drawing on the flyer is one of my 5 (or 7) drawings.
COME.

Oh, and this Saturday, is my favourite favourite artist's exhibition so CLICK CLICK CLICK

I really want to go somewhere end of this year. I think I will.
But that would mean I'll be missing my graduation.
I don't want to wait till next year. I've always wanted to go there.
This is my destiny!!!

Last night someone told me not to be greedy and do everything.
FY old mofo, fucking cheapskate nak free alcohol je.
Don't tell me what to fucking do with my life.
Fucker.

Anyway, yes, my destiny.
I don't want to put so much hope in it in fear of jinxing it.
Like my Project March. My parents have totally avoided the subject with me, but had the nerve to ask my younger brother if he would like to go overseas for a week or two and do absolutely nothing.
HAVE THEY FORGOTTEN HE HAS YET TO WRITE A FREAKING RESUME TO GET A BLOODY JOB.

I am upset. I am already irrelevant. To them.

Suggestions: 2. Kite Flying In An Art Gallery

‘Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities In KL For Busy Government Workers’ is a 13 episode series aimed at promoting the arts among government workers.
CIPAN presents Episode 2: Kite Flying In An Art Gallery.
Wow I can't believe it's going to be a series!

I just finished the postcard design for Between the Lines.
I am so nervous. I've only done 5 drawings.
Small ones.
I AM SO NERVOUS ALREADY.

Oh wow, 2009.

I didn't expect much to happen this year, if you remember what I wrote in February (check out the last line) after spending a month and a half or so not seeing my parents (yes, we still live under the same roof. Today was the first time I saw them in 2 weeks).
BUT GUESS WHAT NIGGAZ YA BRUDA ERE BE SO PRODUCTIVE THIS YER!!1!1

1. Kurasaraksasa!
2. CIPAN
3. Between the Lines (the accidental exhibition)
4. My top secret exhibition with a filthy rich ingrate and a hopeless romantic.

Started my internship at Annexe, so please, everytime you go there and see me don't think I jual muka, gua kerja sana k.
I want this book!
Pentti and Deathgirl by Emma Rendel.
I quite like this too, which I think looks like a cross between Ladyesah and Dura, who reminds me of Irana Douer.

Today is Father's Day and I don't have the heart to tell him his Transition glasses are annoying.
Cuba teka mana satu Mr. Anatomy '78 a.k.a my dad.
Shuz posted a picture of her mother when she was young, and I sometimes think if I'll grow old and look like her.

Suggestions For Lunch Time Activities In KL For Busy Government Workers EP. 1

Featured on ArteriMalaysia.

Just watch the video. Ada surprise, uUUUUUu.
Off to Batu Arang now, bye.

challenging chitoo's sweetness

Monday morning and I am brilliant as can be, thinking I could challenge chitoo's "You and me put the You and Me in You and Me."

You grow on me as if you were fungus, and I am your damp loaf of bread in an airtight ziplock bag, in the dark.
(An 8 year old's science experiment).

Sweet dak? Sosweeeeeeeeeeet.

Writing an email to a stranger today, then getting this piece of crap (read: corn) on/in my toe cut off once and for all after lunch.
Can't wait to start running again. This time I'll wear shoes.

percubaan blogging dalam bahasa malaysia

Dah lama tak tulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia, jadi, kita/saya tengah cuba tulis dalam bahasa ni.
Kalau tak tahan, takpe, blah je, tapi mung kerugian besar sebab saya agak kelakar dan cerita yang saya nak ceritakan ni pun agak kelakar.
(Chitoo and Mien, you guys are so much better at this)

Jadi, minggu lepas, saya dan keluarga pergi makan kat OU, pastu adik saya dok depan saya, mak saya sebelah saya, dan adik beradik saya yang lain tu tak penting di mana lokasi mereka duduk.
Di belakang saya tiba tiba ada kawan adik saya cakap Hi, dan adik saya yang nak dekat 2 tahun dok terperap kat Melaka tu pun dengan excitednya wave hi balik.

Mak saya pun turut serta sibuk nak tengok kawan adik saya tu laki ke perempuan, dan sambil dia turn around, dia pergi buat this hand action thing yang menyerupai Ali G masa dia jumpa kawan dia dari West Side/East Side sambil tu mak saya cakap 'Yo, yo.'

Saya terlampau terkejut dengan perbuatan mak saya yang sememangnya nerd dari spek mata hingga ke kasutnya, dan bertanya dengan nada yang tegas, "APA MAK BUAT TU?"
Saya juga bertanya macam tu dengan nada tu sebab saya tanak adik saya malu dengan kelakuan mak saya.

Mak saya terangkan (explain?) yang dia sangka itu trend masakini, dia memikirkan yang itulah penanda sama ada anda cool atau tak. Sungguh memalukan!
Adik saya pada masa itu juga turut menuntup mukanya dengan tangan dan kelihatan ayah saya menggeleng kepala kerana kemungkinan juga, malu mak saya nak jadi cool tapi macam tu.

Mereka semua tidak tahu pada masa itu saya menyesal suruh mak saya beli DVD Borat masa kat flea market.

Fooh! That was hard. How be dat? Boleh jadi the next Suffian Abas tak?