Thursday, March 1, 2012

because i happen to have friends who can sing


Muhammad Kushan Sudaruning - tak tau nak kata lagi dah selain berdoa
he said i should meet this talented singaporean kid. he said this kid was handsome.
i said there's a possibility he's not my type.
it was a sunday and he looked just like you back in 2007.
beige jacket, tshirt, long hair, glasses, only your face was more narrow.

i brought a funny transparent plastic ball with colourful beads inside. we all messed around with it. i noticed his hands were like yours, probably the same size as well.

emailed you, not expecting a reply or anything for that matter. had to google your name to find your email, momo. momo. no no. monono. momono.

he's studying geography. he likes it.
you called. do you still like all things nice and pretty?
of course i've been stalking you. (i admit, i do, from time to time. not so often because it makes me sad.) looks like a bleak future.
always have been a bleak future.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

TAHNIAH TAHNIAH

I left these two kids talking in MSN after I added them to a group chat after high school. (2005)

NOW THEY ARE MARRIED DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM?!
TAHNIAH TAHNIAH TAHNIAH BALQIES ARAFIA AND AMIRUL IMAN!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

byebye

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

i asked my mother out for lunch, she said sure. if i can make it to langkawi by lunch.


told her i'm moving back in december, she asked which part of the house.
i told her, whatever's left of my little space there. she couldnt be more glad.


this is a blessing in disguise. this is a blessing in disguise. this is a blessing in disguise.

is this the light you were talking about? i hope things turn out for the best.
the very best. for all of us. wimp. wimps. scaredy cats.

this is a blessing in disguise. this is a blessing in disguise. this is a blessing in disguise.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In the beginning Love satisfies us,
When Love first spoke to me of love—
How I laughed at her in return!
But then she made me like the hazel trees,
Which blossom early in the season of darkness,
And bear fruit slowly.


—Hadewijch of Brabant

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

it feels like a stab, whenever the thought of him crosses my mind.
like a wave building up from afar, crashes to the shore, violently.
in my chest, like an implosion. multiple stabs.

heavy shoulders, heavy heart.
:'-(
i miss my favourite boy.